Forgiveness

The Bible talks about forgiving others when they have done you wrong.

People around us may often quote the phrase, “forgive and forget.”

But this is something that I struggle with all the time!

SIDE NOTE: Just because I have a blog about God and I talk about how close I feel to God does not mean that I have all the answers!

There are still parts that I am still working on, myself!

One of those is forgiveness.

My Thoughts

Here are my thoughts and please feel free to chime in….

I just do not feel good about someone hurting me or my family and then “forgiving” them in my mind and in my soul.

Not unless the person asks for forgiveness.

If they ask for forgiveness and truly and genuinely feel sorry for what they have done, then, yes, it is our place to find a way to forgive.    

But, how do you forgive someone who has done you wrong and does not even care that they have done you wrong?

In this day and age, no one seems to care much about how others feel. We live in a “me, me, me” world.

If I could meet God face-to-face and ask Him one thing, it would be, “How, Lord, is it even right that that person can hurt me (or my family) so badly and then I am to turn around and forgive them when they do not even think that they have done wrong?”

Like many people, others have hurt them. Some, pretty badly. You may even be one of those people.

Here is my take (and I am sorry if this goes against the original belief): If someone asks for forgiveness, I will give it to them. If they do not, then I have every right to keep my guard up and to not trust them and to hold it against them.

If you just automatically forgive someone, then isn’t that just saying, “It’s okay what you did. And you can do it to me again?”

Again….just my thoughts!

Forgive to Move On

Is it really true that you have to forgive someone in order to move on with your life?

Many people around me will say, “You are not forgiving them for them, but for yourself. So that you can move on. Forgive and forget so that you can move forward.”

Can’t I move forward without forgiving?

If someone does not pay their electric bill, does the electric company go under? No. They continue to provide services to other customers. They continue to move forward with their day-to-day business activities. They just turn off that person’s electric and wait for them to decide to pay the bill!

I have had numerous people in my life hurt me beyond belief! And I am sure that you have, too! I am still hurt by their doings, but it has not prevented me from moving forward! I am continuing to do good with my life. I just choose to keep them at a distance until they decide that they would like to make some sort of peace about it. But most of these people have justified their doings and feel no remorse.

And, do you want to know what really bothers me about it?

Is how many people out there think that they have done no wrong to someone when they really and truly have!

Some of these things, I could never even think about doing to someone else!

So, why does their behavior suddenly become my responsibility by having to forgive them for something they are not even sorry for?

Call Them Out and Let God Do the Rest!

Here is my take on it.

Call the person out on what they have done wrong!

Don’t just sit there and let them continuously hurt you because you are trying to be a “better person.” That’s not right!

Let that person know that you do not appreciate their behavior!                                                                        

The number one cultivators of such situations are some of these big businesses.

They charge a fortune for a product and then hand you junk. Seriously. They are robbing you of your hard-earned money. And a lot of people do not do anything about it! They go out and buy another one when it breaks or they toss it out and say, “Oh well.”

Oh well?

I do not believe that God would want us to just let others continuously hurt us or take advantage of us.

When something like this happens, I call the company and complain! Politely, but forcefully. Like a mother would!

One time, I ran into a fast-food chain to order some fries and a drink. I ended up waiting a half an hour for my order! Why? Because they had decided to put in machines for people to start placing their orders on! So, not only were the staff trying to keep up with drive-thru orders and regular orders, but also with these orders that were coming in from these new machines!

When I left there, I was so angry! (Yes, even though I feel close to God, I get angry, too!!)

I called the manager and told her my experience and how wrong it was to make customers wait like that just because the company wants to reduce the workforce and hand it all over to machines that they do not have to pay a wage to! (Sorry, my dear readers…I am sure you did not expect me to talk that way, especially as a writer of such a blog, but I am, indeed, human, too and can make my voice known when need be! Hope this doesn’t bother you too much!)

The manager sincerely apologized and sent me a coupon for 2 free value meals!

The fact that the manager apologized and sent me a coupon was a show of asking for forgiveness. And I was okay with telling her “That’s okay” when she told me that she was sorry.  I just asked for something to change in the future. (Not that it will because it is big business and they do not care about what one little customer has to say), but at least the manager recognized why I was upset and maybe that will make a difference someday in some way.

Now, after I state my concern to the person or company that has hurt me….I leave the rest up to God!

That’s right!

Our ultimate fate is in God’s hands!

If someone has done you wrong, call them out, but you don’t have to “get them back” or “get revenge.”

God will take care of it for you and make certain that justice is done in due time!

Sometimes, I need reminders that God has got this and I find some pretty nice reminders on the DaySpring website!

Be A Role Model

It is not fair to expect someone to ask for forgiveness from you if you do not do the same when you hurt someone else!

I am one of those people who apologize for everything! Sometimes, it drives people crazy!

Dropped your soda? I’m sorry that that happened to you! Let me help you clean it up!

Not feeling well? I’m sorry that you don’t feel good!

I did something to hurt you? Oh my goodness! For me, this is horrific on my part and I can barely live with myself if I knowingly hurt someone else. I apologize over and over and will go out of my way for days and days to try to make it right!

Perhaps that is why it bothers me so much when others hurt me and do not even feel a need to apologize!

Whether you are one of these people or not, we cannot expect others to offer up an apology if we do not feel a need to do it ourselves when we are wrong.

Did you do something today that hurt someone or caused them pain? Give them a call and apologize! Then, maybe take them to dinner!

You are okay!

Do not ever feel pressured to forgive someone!

Sometimes, we tend to get caught up in what others tell us and a lot of people may push you with their words of wisdom and say, “Oh, just brush it off!” or “You just have to find a way to forgive her and move on!”

Find a way to move on after the hurt and pain? Yes!

But find the energy to forgive and forget on top of trying to move on with the pain? Don’t worry about it!

If someone is really truly sorry, they will more than make up for the wrong that they have done and they will truly mean it when they are sorry. Then, yes, try to find a way to forgive that person. To say, “Okay, what you did was not right, but I am over it now and we can still be friends.”

If someone hurts you, though, and does not even feel one bit of remorse about it, you do not have to “forgive them” if you do not feel you want to.

Keep a distance. Keep a guard up so that you do not get hurt again (because you are far to special of a person to let anyone hurt you!).

Pray that they realize what they have done wrong.

And then, move on.

Keep asking God for guidance and He will direct you!

Now, that is just my take on this topic…