Waiting

I hate waiting.

Everyone does.

Since the time we are born, we have to learn to wait….

Learn to wait for a bottle…for food….for comfort….for a toy…

As we grow older, waiting only seems to be more inevitable, as we can not cry and scream in public as a young child would when having to wait in line to buy a candy bar or when having to wait on a friend to return a text message.

We wait to buy groceries. We wait to hear back from a job interview. We wait to hear back for test results. We wait to get into a college program that we want to get into. We wait for the “right one” to come along.

Wait….wait…..wait….                                                                                              

Sometimes, we just don’t want to wait! Sometimes, we just say, “screw this – I am doing it on my own!” or “I am doing it right now!”

Sometimes, we cheat our way through or lie to get what we want  so that we can have it now and so that we can have it faster. Instead of waiting for the right moment or waiting for things to just get better, we become impatient and push forward before the universe is ready for us to.

Listen for God’s word before you do it.

Sometimes, He wants us to jump before we may even be ready to! And, sometimes, He wants us to wait before we jump.

If we jump to soon, we may notice that things are not going the way that we want them to. We may hit a lot of barriers or we may become too frustrated and angry. We may start to make mistakes and make things worse for ourselves and maybe others.

So, how do you know what God wants you to do? How do you hear His word?

Ask God what He wants you to do.

Go on….say, “God, what do you want me to do about this?”

Did you say it?

Now….

Listen.

God speaks to us through dreams. He speaks to us through strong feelings. He speaks to us by placing strong thoughts or words into our minds.

If we learn to listen to that “pushy” feeling that we have inside of us and act on it, then we are doing God’s will.

Just remember that what you want is not necessarily what God wants.

My Most Sacred Wait… And Jump!

I waited my entire life to have children! I always knew that I wanted to be a mother.

But I got caught up in higher education and work. I put everyone else first before myself. I waited for the right man to come along. For financial stability. For everything else.

Then one day, I had this most beautiful dream of a baby and the name of this baby! I felt as though it was truly God speaking to me and showing me that my hope to be a mother was coming!

But then, I waited another 10 years!!!                                                                                

And I kept doing what I felt compelled to do otherwise in my life.

Then, one day, I had this urge to look into conceiving through a fertility clinic. I hemmed and hawed about it for awhile, still waiting for the “right one” to come along so that I could start a family in the traditional sense. Then, I finally gathered the information and made the appointments. I tried for a year and a half to conceive.

After much time, expense and heartache, I was about to give up.

I told God that I would try one more time and then I was going to look into adopting.

I went in for one last treatment and – surprise!

I was suddenly pregnant! I was overjoyed!

Now, I am almost 40 years old and just as I was making plans to try for another child (before I can no longer bear children), my employer laid me off, along with several other co-workers.

I was devastated because, as a single mother, it was the only income I had.

I was out of work for 5 months and had gone right through my savings in order to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. There was no way I could afford to try now!

Then, just a few weeks ago, I had this push inside my soul to go ahead and try.

I told God that I did not have the money and that He would need to give me the money to try to have another child and to raise that child.

I felt as though it was a battle in my mind and in my soul between God and me. I could not help but to worry about finances and what my family would say if they found out I was about to lose my house, but went and had another child!

During my “battles” with God, I always felt reassurance, though. That if I did as I was urged to do, that God would watch over us.

So, I finally did what I was asked to do. (The money came from the Visa card, by the way! Not my first choice since I had been racking it up to buy other necessities!)

I did not think that I would get pregnant right away because of my age, the odds (less than 5% chance) and other health problems that I have.

But…. I did!

I did!                                                                                        

And now, I have this little one on the way! No job. No money. Nothing.

But I do not feel afraid. That’s the funny thing. I just feel as though God is watching over us and that this is His will right now and that He will take care of us.

God asked me to jump before I was ready to….and it feels good!

Your Turn!

Now, listen to what thoughts and feelings are gently pushing you to do!

Do not confuse harmful or mean thoughts with God’s words. I do not believe that He will ever ask you to do something mean or hurtful.

But, what may you be feeling an urge to do that is making you a little uncomfortable?

What have you been trying so hard to do that just isn’t working right now?

God is either trying to get you to do something that you are not quite ready to do or….

He is trying to get you to slow down on something that He is not ready for you to do yet.

Be patient.          

Listen.

Wait.  

He is working to bring you goodness and joy!

He is working to make the very best out of your life!

This requires us to, sometimes, wait on God when we don’t want to!

And, sometimes, we get the push to just…. JUMP!